P.S

I used to be a little bit shy
I kept my deepest feelings inside
Speaking up to you about my
Emotions has always been hard
But this just can't wait
Tonight I feel a little bit brave
So I won't let one more day pass without you
Explaining what we are

This is gonna sound kind of silly
But I couldn't help but notice
The last time you kissed me
You kept both eyes opened
Baby can you tell me what does that mean?
If you're looking over your shoulder
Then you don't need to be with me
And I don't need to hold on

Don't let me stop you
From doing what you want to do
You don't wanna stick, trust me it's cool
Take no chance get over you
No no, don't let me stop you
If you wanna leave baby you can leave
Just don't pretend that you're into me
If it ain't true, no
Don't let me stop you

A lot of things I can take
Got a high thresh hold for pain
But let's get one thing straight
I'm not down to share you with anyone
If that's not what you're looking for
Nice knowing you but there's the door
Cause I know that I can find someone
Who'll give me what I want

This is gonna sound kind of silly
If you're looking over your shoulder
Then you don't need to be with me
And I don't need to hold on

Don't let me stop you
From doing what you want to do
You don't wanna stick, trust me it's cool
Take no chance, get over you
No no, don't let me stop you
If you wanna leave baby you can leave
Just don't pretend that you're into me
If it ain't true, no
Don't let me stop you

Even if I end up broken hearted
I won't lie
I don't wanna hear goodbye
But either way I'll be alright

Don't let me stop you
From doing what you want to do
You don't wanna stick, trust me it's cool
Take no chance, get over you
No no, don't let me stop you
If you wanna leave baby you can leave
Just don't pretend that you're into me
If it ain't true, no
Don't let me stop you

Don't let me stop you
From doing what you want to do
You don't wanna stick, trust me it's cool
Take no chance, get over you
No no, don't let me stop you
If you wanna leave baby you can leave
Just don't pretend that you're into me
If it ain't true, no
Don't let me stop you



http://artists.letssingit.com/kelly-clarkson-lyrics-dont-let-me-stop-you-hr2gsgg

Ciao!

First off I am happy to say I did very well of my capstone!!! I am currently in the library and completed the final for Freedom of Speech and Responsibility. Overall today has been very productive! I have one last final tonight at 6! It is going to be my most difficult final yet. I have been studying but you can only prepare so much. So hopefully luck with align with the stars and I will end up doing well. wink wink! I am almost there! The last task I need to finish will be my capstone poster, which will be fun and creative. I just need to go to the store to grab all the materials and that will be that. The end of college is NEAR!
I am looking forward to Thursday night where I will meet with my dream group to eat mexican food and to celebrate graduation. It will be nice to sit down with positive women to chat with and catch up. I won't be seeing these amazing ladies for a long time because I am moving in five days. It all came so quickly. I thought this day was so far away and its so so close. I am having some anxiety but also excitement to see what will happen next.
I still have a lot to throw away and give away. I have tons of clothes I do not wear anymore, old papers I need to go through and other miscellaneous items. I think I will get through all that just fine because I will turn on some good music and it will be more of a cleansing experience. Getting rid or old things I do not need or use. I have decided for a long time, but even more so now of becoming a minimalist. I will only have what I absolutely need and use. I will try to condense everything into one or two boxes of sentimental items and pictures that I cannot part with. I suppose I am going to become my alias, a true gypsy. I will go wherever life brings me opportunities since I have no strong ties anywhere. My family is always a phone call away and it might be fun to not know exactly where I will be...ciao!

Astrology

I am the girl who asks people their sign and not to be funny because I truly love astrology. I have been reading my horoscope since I was really little with my mom and sister. I wrote the horoscopes for over a year on the Otter Realm. Some think it's just for fun, and entertaining but I believe it's real. It's interesting how true and dead on Astrology can be. I am a Scorpio and for those of you who do not know about that sign we are intense creatures. Do not mess with us! haha! Anyways, I am not an expert but I want to go through each sign in this blog and describe the traits of each one. This is how I perceive each sign. Here we go:

Capricorn- Funny, cold, sarcastic, fun loving and playful.

Aquarius- Friendly, easygoing, rude, straightforward, helpful.

Pisces- Sensitive, caring, private, sarcastic, understanding and fragile.

Aries- Calm, cool, playful, outgoing, independent and direct.

Taurus- Stubborn, hardworking, sensitive, determined, positive and emotional.

Gemini- Good sense of humor, two distinct personalities, loud, genuine and blunt.

Cancer- loving, self-involved, talented, artistic natured and shy.

Leo- Outgoing, charming, jealous, interesting, needy and smart.

Virgo- Outdoorsy, energetic, cold, un-emotional, artisitc and friendly.

Libra- Hardworking, caring, intellectual, overly-serious, organized and funny.

Scorpio- Intense, passionate, possessive, sarcastic and intuitive.

Saggitarius- Playful, independent, calm, reserved and honest.

Hope you all enjoyed reading!

Polygamy

Polygamy. Do you know what that means? Many aren't aware of this illegal act that is going on in the United States today. Over 60,000 polygamists are currently living in Arizona, Utah and Texas. Not only are they living an illegal lifestyle but many women and children are confined to their compounds and ranches. I chose to do my Capstone on Shedding the Light on Polygamy. Many do not realize what this entails and what the FLDS sect (Fundamentalist Latter Day Saints) do. They consider themselves a religious group and base their lives around becoming closer to God. In order to be close to God they need to follow a polygamous life, meaning one man having multiple wives. I became very passionate against polygamy last April when I heard of the Texas raid that took hundreds of children from their home and snatched them away from their parents. The Child Protection Services were suspicious of abuse going on behind a compound in Eldorado, TX when they received a phone call by a young girl named 'Sarah' claiming she had been abused. I became intrigued and curious as to what was happening to make such a commotion. I soon began to read countless articles regarding the raid which then lead me to delve deeper into the FLDS.
Right before this raid a powerful leader within the sect Warren Jeffs was found guilty for being an accomplice to rape of an underage girl, as well as trying to have her marry one of her cousins. As if that isn't sick enough, his powerful leadership is still being followed even though he is behind bars. Many of his followers still listens to the messages he passes through prison to other memebers within the sect and thinks he is still 'godly'. yuck.
To shed some positive news on this dark subject I would have to mention a woman who I admire, I stumbled upon an autobiography written her. She is former polygamist, Carolyn Jessop. She lived a polygamous lifestyle for over 35 years. She was forced to marry a man she did not know and had eight of his children. She realized over her thirty-five years of living this life that she needed out. She needed to 'escape', which later became the title of her autobiography. She did in fact escape with all her children once she realized this religion was in fact cult-like and abusive. She was mentally and verbally abused by her husband and suffered things unimaginable. She took a risk and it went in her favor, she risked not only her life but the life of her children. If she would have been caught, she would have suffered serious consequences. It was a blessing that no other wives, living with her, or children caught her leaving in the middle of the night.
She is a courageous woman who I admire tremendously and actually had the honor to have an e-mail interview with her. Having her answer some questions I had asked regarding polygamy really opened my eyes to how real this cult is. It is so secretive that many do not even know how many people are practicing. I hope that others realize that it is something that has been going on for over 100 years and will continue to keep growing unless people keep prying and asking questions.

Unpredictable

What will happen this summer? Will I make it to Greece or will I end up working away all summer at some high end restaurant? I want to head off to Europe and create adventures that will stick with me for the rest of my life, but I also want to see my friends and family back home and spend time with them. Some tell me " you are SO young, go to Europe and enjoy yourself" and some say " you are SO young, you have plenty of time to go to Europe". hah. Life is so unpredictable who knows where I will be two weeks from now, besides throwing my cap in the air and finally being able to breathe a sigh of relief. I like the fact of the unknown but it would be nice to have a sense of where I will be and what I will be doing. I don't want to get comfortable back home and then five years from now I will be like whatever happened to that amazing trip I was suppose to take after graduation? Money is also an issue, always seems like it is. If I had thousands of dollars I suppose my decision wouldn't be so hard. I figure I should stop trying to control everything and it will all fall into place. I am a control freak and always have to know what is going to happen. Perhaps I am sucking some of the joy out of it...I need to sit back and let life lead me where I should go. Who knows, I have always thought I would win the lottery. HEY IT COULD HAPPEN! ; )

The power of saying "no"

The power of saying "no" is simple and liberating. I sometimes find myself spreading myself too thin or getting stressed out because I am overextending myself to others. The solution: saying no. Sometimes, for a lot of us it is hard to say NO. It can even be scary. For instance a good friend asks you to help them move but you already had plans that day but feel obligated because they have helped you in the past. I tend to say if you are doing something for someone because you feel guilty or you have to, don't. You won't really be doing them a favor because they will be able to see that you don't even want to be there and you will be miserable in the process. Another example is making a plan. Someone asks you to lunch and you really just do not want to go. There is no other way of going around it. You just do not want to go. Sure you could make up a lie and pretend you have something else going on OR you could give them a breath of fresh air and say the simple word that we tend to stray from...NO. (no thank-you). It boggles my mind how a small two letter word can be hard for a lot of us to say. I am a people pleaser but I also do not let people walk all over me. There is a time and a place to say yes and there is also a time and a place to say no. I think sometimes others will respect you more if you let them know the truth. If If you don't feel up to something or you just simply don't want to you can say no, it is ok. By bending over backwards to accommodate someone it isn't always being nice or being an amazing person, I find it to be somewhat weak and in the end who does it please? When we say no we are standing firm in our convictions and stating that at this time and place "I" cannot go/do/hike/bike/spend/ect right now. At another time sure, maybe you can, or another day might be better. Do not feel guilty for a word we were taught so young to use. I think at times we like to make excuses or lie to cover up for something maybe we just aren't up for. So I say no I don't want to go out to dinner tonight. No I really don't have the time to go run over and drop something off to you. We all have a voice that must be put to use. Do not mistake saying "no" as being mean or rude, you are just saying right now, I cannot. And that is that!

At the moment...

At the moment I have my window open and I blasting The Cure in my bedroom, thoroughly enjoying this lazy yet beautiful Sunday evening. What a gorgeous day it was! Getting a tan on the beaches of Monterey Bay and then dashing to In and Out to satisfy my craving I had all day. Never can get enough of in and out. Anyways, I thought i'd write a blog about precious moments that perhaps we take for granted each and everyday. Feeling the breeze against your skin, the shining glistening down upon you or even a smile from a stranger. I don't what it is, maybe I am being a bit nostaglic because my days in Monterey are dwindiling but I have been recently recounting the memories I have made here and the people I have stumbled across. Mostly good, some bad. Each day something occured and there was always a story to share. Even more so, I have made some cool friends who I soon will be leaving behind or we all will be going our seperate ways to start the next chapter in our lives. I created a little life for myself in the peninsula but I am happy to move forward as well...In doing so though comes some pressure as to where I will head and what I want next out of my life. My hope is to travel Europe for at least a couple months and meet some new people, taste new foods, and experience new things, do as much as I can while I am still very young and able! Maybe even skydive, that has ALWAYS been something I wanted to do, soon!
>>>>These next couple weeks are going to be crazy I am not even going to be able to soak up each moment because of school work and packing my garage, cleaning out everything. So as each day comes I am going to try and take a deep breathe and NOT let it all pass me by. I still have a couple more things I want to mark off my checklist here in Monterey. I still have not been to Bubba Gumps, maybe it is a bit touristy and perhaps isn't all it's cracked up to be but I will make that decision for myself. I still want to go on some more hikes and take some sick photos before I depart. I want to tie it all up in a neat little bow so when I DO leave I will be able to say, I did everything I wanted to do..."...Just like heaven..."